It has been truly gut-wrenching waiting to find out if Kavanaugh will be given the distinct honor to serve on the supreme court. I, like so many others, oppose his nomination.
I think what bothers me the most is that we seem to have lost basic values…truth and decency. The GOP thinks Dems have slandered a “good family man.” Dems feel he lied under oath and that during his job interview full of angry outbursts, he did not demonstrate the temperament or bipartisan beliefs to be a supreme court judge.
Then there is Dr. Christine Blasey Ford. What she must be feeling right now is beyond my scope of comprehension. It has been said that she is “confused” about her recollections and if she can’t come up with the exact date, address of the assault, and people at the party willing to testify, than it obviously didn’t happen and her story has no base in which to move forward. My heart goes out to her because she has been shamed for being a woman with a memory that haunts. She has become someone the good ol’ boys in the GOP can laugh and mock behind Senate doors. She is all of us, and those who choose to ignore her distinct memories and 100% certainty of Kavanaugh’s actions, will be keeping this mockery alive. We have sacrificed a woman for the sake of a man who believes he deserves to be a member of the highest court. We have sent out a communal denial that this sort of behavior is even remotely possible in the human experience…and if it is…we hope that it slithers away quietly without jeopardizing the chance of winning another seat on the bench.
If someone is reading this and finds my argument offensive, I ask you to give me a minute of your time to read a little about my life and what happened to me as a young girl. Maybe then you will understand why I am so upset.
What Dr. Ford described during her testimony made me feel like I did so many years ago. I, too, remember vividly…and with 100% certainty. Several occasions have changed my life forever. Three times I had my innocence compromised by perverts and no one came to my rescue. The system and the adults failed me. First when I was five, a boy who was babysitting me asked if I would sit on his lap. His hands roamed freely until they were inside me and although I told those I trusted what had happened, nothing was done. I was told he was such a nice guy, I must have been mistaken. Second, when I was eleven, I took surfing lessons. Two instructors employed by the hotel took me out and padded far enough out of sight that I suppose no one could witness them feeling under my bikini to see if I was sore “down there.” Then they told me to straddle the board and wait for a wave. The probing continued until I shyly asked if I could paddle in. The third incident took place at one of my parent’s cocktail parties. While the rest of the crew enjoyed themselves downstairs, a good friend of the family climbed in bed with me. His hands groped around for a long while, but unable to find something of particular interest, he got up to use the toilet…leaving me to try and make sense out of his unwanted fondling. I was forced to see him over and over through the years as I seethed inside.
As I grew older I learned that if a woman has a few drinks, then she is responsible for any sexual attack. The man is not held accountable for his behavior, but the woman, in a vulnerable state, is fair game.
Why am I telling you this? Why not just get some therapy? Because this shit happens all the time. Maybe it has already happened to your child and they have not felt comfortable enough to tell you. Maybe they feel that it is awkward, inconvenient, and worse yet, NOTHING will be done, or too much will be done, so why make a scene? After all, it’s not rape when you are finger-fucked, right? If the man says he didn’t do it, who do you believe? The child? When you won’t even believe the credibility of a woman who is a professor of psychology and a research psychologist from Stanford University with two master’s degrees and a PhD from USC? No, the GOP believes she is confused. A woman who wrote her dissertation in 1995 entitled Measuring Young Children’s Coping Responses to Interpersonal Conflict.” As she stated in her testimony, “I do not get confused.” And yet, many do not believe her. They claim that she probably was abused, but not by their Golden Boy.
The “animal” hides in all of us. We like to think that our moral compass is tightly tuned to the pulse of righteousness, but sometimes our carnal urges triumph over goodness. We attempt to brush these base desires under the civilized societal rug, but what we are ultimately left with is the chilling reality that the range of human behavior is far greater than most people find comfortable. The proof of how strongly these animalistic traits dwell in us lies in the fact that people are willing to risk their lives, their families, and their reputations, to entertain and follow through with these desires. I believe Brett Kavanaugh felt invincible when he was a young man…top student, a jock, and the only child in a privileged family. He drank in excess and felt entitled to do what he wanted. That’s what is not written in his calendars.
This country is the biggest ongoing experiment of human freedom in the world. With these liberties we must expect behavior that is objectionable to some, but acceptable to others as THEIR expression of independence. We must acknowledge that there will be those who do not believe Dr. Ford’s account…and those who believe her with every fiber of their being. But there is a sliver of darkness that is becoming a growing light. A fragment of justice and a call to arms coming from the voices of outrage and prayer. Does it mean that our hearts have opened a little wider to support women who have been sexually abused? To honestly listen and care about their feelings…believing that they are not coming forth for fame or fortune, but to be heard and acknowledged that these terrible things have and are happening around us. One can only hope.
I just received an alert that Kavanaugh was confirmed while our downstairs neighbor blasts Kanye’s “You’re such a fuckin’ ho, I love it.” Jesus, what a world!
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